


feathers that never fell

by SnorkleShit



Series: I thought of angels (choking on their halos) [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Denial, Faunus!Cardin, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Oneshot, Sort of an AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3160478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cardin's got a secret that he's keeping from everyone- including himself, depending on how you look at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	feathers that never fell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gh0ulpunk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0ulpunk/gifts).



> This may grow into archester I'm not sure. Probably not. For now it's just me being lame and angsty.  
> Don't worry this isn't oh boo hop this bully is misunderstood  
> This is much more and is in no way a justification of his actions. That will be elaborated on later.

He tells the other boys of CRDL that he got them in battle, the faded scars smack in the middle of his shoulder blades. Makes up an awseome story about an Ursa. Or maybe it was something about a psycho who tried to mug him when he was ten. Something badass and a little funny, makes them all guffaw and then it's forgotten. At least, forgotten to them. Cardin wishes it was as easy to make up a story and he himself could forget the truth. He's been lying to himself his whole life. And at least eighty percent of him is convinced on a regular basis- the outer layers are saturated in his own lies and his own anger. Lashing out at the world and having fun hurting others. The strong hurt the weak, so the weak can learn to be stronger. That's how the worlds always worked, he's just doing his part and trying to enjoy it in the meantime. Look at Jaune, he's much better off after the time they spent together.

Yeah, he's an asshole. And the world knows that and he's okay with it. Better than what he really is. What he can't help but know he is on the inside, at his rotten core. He can't cover his own memories, his own undeniable knowledge with some bombastic story. Gods, he wished he could.  
\-------------------

"You where meant to fly, little one." The old nurse who raised him in early childhood tells him sadly, a whisper in the dark one night.  
"What do you mean? Humans can't fly." He replied in innocent confusion.

  
"No, they can't. But Faunus can. They're still human, my boy, just different. Your different." She whispers, reaching to lovingly brush a strand of hair back into place.  
He pulled away from her, giving her a wary look.

  
"What are you talking about? Father says that Faunus are freaks who should be eradicated from the bloodlines, so humanity will be stronger." He says, something he's been raised to believe is true his entire life. Her forced smile falters.

  
"Your father is a racist, and an egomaniac. He is not a good man." She replied.

  
"Yes he is! He's strong and he runs the entire weapons company by himself! We'd be defenseless without the breakthroughs he's made in science! And he's raising all four of us boys without a mother and we're all okay! He's strong and strong is good!" The twelve year old replied desperately, uncomfortable with where this conversation is going. But his nurse raised him, shouldn't he listen to her?  
The nurse sighed.

  
"Strength is only good when it's used to help the weak. To protect those who cannot protect themselves, so everyone has the chance to be free and happy. Your father cares only for his stature, his power, and his legacy. He resents the weak and crushes them whenever he can. That makes him weak, in his soul. And rotten. Remember this, my boy. Love is stronger than hate. It's also harder to feel and harder to express but it is worth it a thousand times over. The Faunus are people, just like you and me, who've been hurt by people who don't understand them. So what if they have different parts? What matters is inside us all. If everything else leaves you, retain what I tell you now." She begged him. He stared at her, trying to comprehend all the things she was saying, all the things that contradicted everything he'd been told was truth his entire life.

  
"Why are you saying these things?" He demanded.

  
"Because you must hear the truth. Even if it hurts. I cannot lie to you anymore, I love you too much to allow you to be raised an ignorant tyrant like your father and brothers. They do not love you. They hurt you, they abuse you, and they tell you that that's how the world is. Every time they hurt you they tell you they're helping you get stronger. But that's not true. They don't love you and you don't deserve the pain and it does not help you. Suffering does not make people strong, healing does, love does, compassion does.

  
Not only do they abuse you, they lie to you. They lie about who your mother was." The nurse confided in him.  
He yanked back, scrambling up the bed.

  
"Stop! I don't want to hear this anymore!" He cried.

  
"But you must! For I love you, Cardin! Have I not always been kind and loving to you when others beat you and hurt you? I am only trying to tell you the truth, because you deserve it!" She replied.

  
His breathing came quicker.

  
"But what if I don't deserve it? My mother was a whore, and it's a miracle that my gracious father allowed me to live past birth when I am illegitimate! My father does love me or else he would not let me live!" He recited word for word what he was told on an almost daily basis, some words he didn't even understand yet.  
There were tears in the nurse's eyes.

  
"Your mother wasn't a whore, Cardin. She was a wonderful, kindhearted working woman whom your father fell deeply in love with. He intended to marry her after she gave birth! But something went wrong, and she died giving birth to you. It was not your fault, you were only a babe, but he blames you in his rotten heart regardless. And she died before telling him the truth, and he only found out when he held you in his arms. That she was a Faunus." The nurse explained.

  
Cardinals eyes widened. "My father would never marry a freak! How did he not know? He's too smart to be tricked like that- you tell lies, woman!" He seethed, his mind unraveling at the seems with all the conflicting information.

  
"She was a Phoenix Faunus. Bird Faunus where more persecuted than all other Faunus, they were easier to kill because their wings were harder to hide. They're endangered. And she was believed to be the last Phoenix until you were born. Your father never knew because her parents cut her wings off when she was born to protect her from the horrid world. She told me this on her deathbed, made me promise to look after you. Your father and brothers don't love you, but your mother and I will always love you. Your father only found out when you were born with wings, such wonderful little wings. Your father was heartbroken both at her death and her lie, and his father before him demanded he kill you. But he couldn't. Instead, he had your wings removed and swore us all to secrecy. And he named you Cardin so he would never forget who you are. Those scars on your back are where your wings were supposed to be, love. You where meant to fly and your father stole that from you because he loves his reputation more than he loves you."She said.

  
He stared at her for what seemed like forever, before he shoved her away and began to scream.  
"YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYI-" he screeched in desperation. The guards burst into the room at his cries and dragged nurse out.

  
"Remember what you are, my love!" She screamed as they carried her away. Cardin slapped his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out her words.  
His older brother Jonathan walked in, saw him rocking back and forth and crying with the trauma of all the conflicting information, and laughed at him before leaving again.

  
The door was slammed shut and he was left alone in the dark, head imploding in on itself.  
\-----  
The next day, nurse is gone. He watches the sun rise over the Winchester estate from the balcony. Suddenly, another figure is next to him. He bows his head in submission.

  
"Father." He greets.

  
"Your nurse quit, I'll hire another soon. In the meantime, I expect you to behave. And forget any nonsense she may have told you, she was depraved." His father says primly.

  
He nods. "I never believed a word of it, father. I know you love me, despite my shortcomings. You only wish for me to be stronger." He says, not looking up.  
His father nods, turns away to exit the balcony.

  
Cardin turns his head slightly when he hears his father pause.

  
"She would be proud of you. I'm not, yet, but she would be. She always had a soft spot for the weak." His father said, voice distant. Then he's gone and they never speak of the mother he never knew again.

  
It's easier to accept that nurse was crazy and abandoned him, than to think about what his heart knew to be true.  
He was weak, and he was unclean, bs he was determined to make himself better, to make his father proud. Maybe then he would be strong enough to make himself believe his own lies.


End file.
